Thoughts On Parenting

I cornered my poor friend the other day and demanded, "If you heard something about my kid(s), would you tell me?"

This came after I received a startling phone call from a concerned parent about a situation that involved one of my children.

I was upset. 

Very upset.

Disappointed. 

Embarrassed.

Concerned.

Angry.

I certainly went through the gamut of emotions.  I made myself sick over it.  I cried a bit.  I yelled.  I stewed.

Luckily, as it usually does, a good night's sleep lent me to a new tomorrow and a new perspective. 

And I was humbled.

I went over, in my mind, the words of my wise friend who said,

"Isn't it interesting that the most important life decisions need to be made when you are the least prepared to make them."

It was then that I fell to my knees to beg my Heavenly Father for some guidance--for me and for my son--and I humbly asked for patience towards my son and for my Father's patience with me as I muddle through this parenting thing.  I was overcome with a feeling of calm.  It wasn't earth-moving, but a small reminder that my Heavenly Father is there.  He hears me.  He knows my heart and my struggles.

 

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon our Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day and as you deal with the challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them."

— Thomas S. Monson

When he got home from school we talked.  I helped him understand what he did wrong.  I apologized for the way I reacted to it.  He apologized, too.  We talked about the terms of his punishment, and then he went above and beyond that by making a very, very difficult phone call to apologize to the person he offended.  I was proud of him for doing that--I hadn't asked him to--and I told him I was proud of him for doing it.

I often get overwhelmed by my responsibilities to these 4 beautiful souls that were trusted to me.  I often fret that I'm failing them in many, many ways.  I worry that I'm not doing enough, or doing too much, or not doing what I'm supposed to, knowing that my only hope for them is to grow up to be amazing, responsible, respectable adults who love God, and have a testimony of His divinity.    I love the following scripture:

Proverbs 22:6:  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I also love this quote:

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."

— Anne Frank

What a true statement by Anne Frank.  I can only point them in the right direction.  The rest is up to them.  I will continue to teach and guide the path that my children should take, and continue to pray for divine support.  What they decide to do with that knowledge, ultimately, is their decision.

It's hard to watch my boys make mistakes, but I also know that without making mistakes they will never learn. 

I take comfort in these wise words from President Howard W. Hunter:

"A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who has cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child. If you have done all of these and your child is still wayward or troublesome or worldly, it could well be that you are, nevertheless, a successful parent. Perhaps there are children who have come into the world that would challenge any set of parents under any set of circumstances. Likewise, perhaps there are others who would bless the lives of, and be a joy to, almost any father or mother. My concern today is that there are parents who may be pronouncing harsh judgments upon themselves and may be allowing these feelings to destroy their lives, when in fact they have done their best and should continue in faith."